Month: August 2011

There’s Just Something About Condoleezza Rice – Muammar Gaddafi

Can we discuss Muammar Gaddafi’s crush on Condoleezza Rice for just one moment?? Following the raid of Gaddafi’s compound last week, rebels found a photo album solely devoted to former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Read more on msnbc! Apparently in the past Gaddafi has made comments about Condoleezza or ‘Leezza’, as he refers to her:

“I support my darling black African woman… I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. … Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. … I love her very much. I admire her, and I’m proud of her, because she’s a black woman of African origin.”

I guess there is just something about a ‘smart’ ‘take charge’ woman of African origin. Personally, I was impressed with Rice when she spoke at Harvard last year and I think I did develop a little bit of a girl crush on her, but this situation is different (and awkward). What is it about a black woman giving orders to powerful leaders that would cause a ruthless dictator to admire her so much? Maybe this should be considered an honor in some strange way…? What do you think? And do you think this sentiment towards ‘take charge’ black women is shared by other powerful men?

Rice has yet to issue a statement on the discovery of the photo album.

photo credit: msnbc

Warning: Mr. Nice Guy Doesn’t Get the Girl

I would encourage you to read this article. I thought it was a fabulous read straight from a self-professed former nice guy. The author discusses why he had to cease being the nice guy because it was not producing results. Here’s an excerpt from the piece: “I can remember spending hours on the phone with girls I really liked and having absolutely nothing to say, and when I did say something, it was about as interesting as a rave at a senior citizen’s home. Then I wondered why they never called me and I was doing all the heavy lifting. My internal dialogue was something along the lines of: “How could she NOT like me?! I’m such a nice guy!!!” ” There is something to say about a guy (or girl) that keeps things mysterious and isn’t so available to the person that they are dating, and I think that’s what the author is talking about in this piece (he is not talking about ceasing to be polite or show respect).

There is a flip side to this. Women sometimes don’t know what they want. When the guy calls too much, he’s too needy, but when he stops calling, he’s not showing enough attention. A while back, a guy friend of mine responded to a tweet from a female: “When do the nice guys finish first?”, to which he replied, “After 25.” We want to know what you think! Answer the poll below, do nice guys always finish last or is there a point in life when this changes?

Recent Nivea Ad Flips the Script on Black Hair Conversation

This offensive ad recently launched (and then removed) by Nivea has been the hot topic of discussion in the last few days (eg. here and here). The ad definitely flips the script on the conversation of what society deems as more attractive and civilized for black people (in this case, black men). This conversation definitely spills over into our relationship culture. I think for a while now we’ve been discussing the effects of a black woman’s hair on her dating life, but what about men? Are black men misjudged by women because of their hairstyle choices? Or, does a man’s personal style (including how he wears his hair) give an accurate portrayal of his personality?

A recent conversation with my close guy friend on this subject confirmed that for some guys, their clothing and style IS an expression of their personality. I can’t speak for all women, but I think we do form certain judgments on personal appearance based on our own upbringing and preferences. What do you think?

Essential Rules for Online Dating

Hi Everyone! I’m really excited to be a guest blogger for Bandeka, and I look forward to putting up some interesting pieces every week. Just a couple of quick notes before I begin: the goal of my guest blog is to present information to spark thought and discussion, however things reposted do not equate endorsement by me or any of the founders of Bandeka, and all images posted are copyright to their respective owners (Bandeka does not take credit for them unless otherwise noted). Now that that’s done with, I thought this would be the perfect way to begin my guest blog- Essential Rules for Online Dating.

“Traditional dating schemes are old. No one looks forward to meeting women in bars, and searching for a girl in church doesn’t always work as advertised.” …So you’ve decided to sign up for Bandeka, but now what? Well according to this article, there are some definite do’s and don’ts for online dating. Originally written for men, but it’s an equal opportunity piece. Enjoy!

Five Questions with new guest blogger – Afua!

Who is Afua?  Harvard Kennedy School Grad, Originally from Ghana; born in Liberia; raised in Canada and the US

Something you wouldn’t know by looking at me: I played rugby in high school and was starting scrum-half until I tore my ACL

Fav childhood cartoon show: Adventures of Tintin

Fav (African) Food: Cassava Leaf, Waakye, and Kenkey

Do you believe in love at first sight?  Attraction, lust, intrigue, yes. ‘True’ love, no

Stay tuned for more from Afua, she will be blogging on relationship-related topics that will be interesting for Men and Women!  Also check her out on twitter @afua_en

The Secrets to Love… told by some smart young kids!

“Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK” – Danny, age 7

Hi Everyone!

Hope you are having a great week!  The quote from Danny is from a a fantastic article on the secrets to told by some really smart young kids.  Share with your friends, they’ll love it!  Enjoy!