good girl

Can Women Really Plan to Find a Man?

I’ve placed an excerpt below of a Bella Naija article* that I found. I think the conversation will be something some of you ladies can identify with, because I definitely did. Take special note to the bold lines.

“So Glory are you single?” I nodded as I sipped on my fruit smoothie.

“Why?” He retorted (I cant stand that question, why is the sky blue, why can fish only live in water, why does the sun not come out at night?)

“Errr because I haven’t found the right person” I replied trying to seem nonchalant about it all.

“Well, do you have a plan to find the right person”? He asked almost immediately.

Now I was well and truly confused. ‘Plan’? I asked in return. I looked at Ada to see if she understood what he was talking about. But even she seemed as confused as I was.

Sensing that we needed to be educated, Idowu continued.

For everything in life you have a plan. You planned your career path, you planned what you were going to do today. You must always have a plan. Is there any major decision you have made till date which you didn’t have a plan for?

Sensing I was about to put up an argument to his theory, Idowu continued without waiting for a reply. “If you don’t plan to find a man, your plan is to remain single.” Ask the single women in their thirties, they are single because they didn’t plan. He concluded rather matter of factly.

“Okay, so tell us how we can plan”, Ada asked obviously absorbed by her friends thesis.

Idowu went on to explain that the plan isn’t a step by step plan per say on how to get a man but more like a set of philosophies, which single women must abide by if they are ever to get married.

I can admit to being more of the ‘it’ll happen when it happens’ passive-types, but ladies what do you think? Should women have to make more of a conscious effort to find a man? For those who read the entire article, I’d be interested to know you thoughts on Idowu’s set of philosophies, particularly #3:

95% of men don’t marry women that they had been dating for 10 years. They marry the ‘smart women’ who either stole them from the ‘main babe’ or directed them down the aisle, the so called ‘bad girls’.

After reading Idowu’s set of philosophies, my eyes are rolling a little bit. Is Idowu saying that ‘good’ girls and ‘passive’ girls finish last? Just like our previous discussion on Mr. Nice Guy finishing last, I’ve heard this argument for women as well. The biggest dating craze right now is the Sherry Argov’s ‘Why Men Love Bitches’ and ‘Why Men Marry Bitches’ series (these books are the number one dating books on the market today). IF we were to take what Idowu and Argov say to be true, but extrapolate from the poll you all took in my previous post, perhaps there is a point when ‘good’ girls also stop finishing last. Take a look at your ‘do nice guys always finish last’ poll results here.

*if the article does not open, refresh the page.